Needless to say, if you have been following me at all, you know that I have not been a part of this blogging world for very long. While I started To Live and Diaper about two years ago, I never actually wrote anything until this year. I thought I had to come up with something ground breaking or original. Fact is that most of the blogging world, particularly the parenting portion, is littered with a lot of the same stuff from slightly different perspectives and voices. So I decided I could jump into the ring.
For the past several months I have been dropping ditties here and there. Taking some of the Mrs' criticisms and trying to work with them, such as adding more photos and more light hearted material (I am working on some new stuff such as recipes, reviews and a few less dad-oriented pieces and more me). I have been getting some good responses from people, granted friends on Facebook, but positive comments nonetheless.
A friend of mine here in SD, the author of BetaDad (read him, it's good stuff, not to mention he was just on HLN), mentioned that if I wanted to get some traction I should get online, read other blogs and post sincere, thoughtful comments. I took his advice and searched out readable blogs. I found a good handful of them and started commenting where I had thoughts. Things went swimmingly. I had some good replies to my comments and all was well. I don't know that it added any traffic to my site, but it was interesting nonetheless.
I haven't been reading other blogs lately, but today I crossed a post from a blogger that I follow every now and then and after reading some of the other comments I felt that I had something to say (you can read it in the link).
I guess my post comes off as angry and perhaps even rude. It was unintended. I tend to shoot from the hip when I talk to people - one of my better as well as worst qualities. I also write the way I talk. You can imagine where problems can arise. Well, one arose. When it did, instead of stepping back and trying to view my comments from their view, I continued down my myopic path and did my ditch digger of a father proud (my father actually isn't a ditch digger, but if he was he would have been proud of the hole I was carving out with an excavator instead of shovel). I'll leave out the further comments I made (the author of the blog deleted them anyway, thankfully), but know they were not well thought out and only served to make matters worse.
After exchanging a couple of emails with the author, as he wanted to let me know why he deleted my comments, I profusely apologized for overstepping my mark and generally being a brainless lump. I don't have a problem ruffling some feathers, but when I do, it's intended. When I do and it's unintended, I feel like a schmuck. As my friend BetaDad pointed out as we swapped texts about this tonight, "intent and effect don't always end up the same". In person, I think my comments would have been less offensive and perhaps an exchange of educated opinions on the topic at hand would have occurred along with a clink of a few beer glasses. But this is the internet. There is no clinking. There was no exchange...at least not regarding our opinions on the posted topic.
Writing on your own blog is all fine and well. People can take it or leave it. They can choose to follow you or choose to never read you again. Period. But when you comment on another persons blog, it can be like pissing on your neighbors petunias or it can be like getting their mail for them. There is very little grey area as far as I can see just yet. Certainly a lesson learned today. The parenting blogging community is a relatively small one, and when you poke a fellow blogger in the ribs (intentionally or unintentionally) it can get even smaller. Hopefully, apologies were accepted because unfortunately we aren't neighbors and I can't drop off a six pack.