Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Breaking Bad: Nap Time Edition

Yikes! It's been near two months since my last post? To tell the truth, I have become a little consumed with Instagram and editing each picture. I've also spent a ton of time working on my photography site (, as well as second shooting my first wedding. Now that I write it out, it doesn't sound like a lot. But I assure you it felt like a million things at once.

I felt that life was getting too crazy. I had stopped running. I was getting more and more grouchy. I was less inclined to go out and do things with the kids. I was looking forward to the Mrs being home more and more, but since she was working 100 hour weeks (nope, not kidding...think long and hard before becoming a lawyer kiddos) we never saw her.

So two weeks ago, I decided to kick myself in the ass and get up, get out and do something. I started running again. We got back out for play dates. I was cooking healthy meals again. But I was still feeling tied up. That's when I realized that maybe I was trying to control too many aspects of the boys lives. Too much of "don't do that", "don't touch that", "don't climb up there", "stop fussing", "stop jumping off the ottoman", "don't throw your toys", "no splashing", "go to sleep" blood pressure is rising just writing it out! Instead of walking quietly and carrying a big stick, I was stomping around and screaming through a bullhorn. So I decided to stop.

The first situation I have chosen to tackle is nap time.

Nap time (and bed time for that matter), while albeit I cherish, has been a thorn in my side. Our routine has been to go to the bathroom, change diaper, read 2 books and off to dream land. The first three went off without a hitch. The last one? Not so much. Taz would be screaming, Little Man would be banging, books would be thrown, beds would be destroyed and occasional crying would ensue. I would tromp up there 3-5 times every afternoon for nap and every night for bedtime, aggressively open the door, demand silence, then slam the door and return to folding clothes, finishing my dinner or just trying to relax. Eventually they would stop and sleep, but not before I was worn out and feeling completely frazzled.

So yesterday, I decided that I would no longer scream. I would no longer creep up the stairs like a ninja so as to surprise them and put the fear of Dad in them. I would no longer react.

It's 4:27 PM now and the boys have been upstairs for 3 hours. Nap time ends in 3 minutes. All three hours have been filled with screams, cries, crashes and thuds on repeat. I have said nothing. I have done nothing besides fold laundry, make a few phone calls and watch Judge Judy drop the hammer on some unsuspecting derelicts. I have nearly reacted. I have fought the urge to react. My calves and quads have twitched, like spurs in a horses side, just prepping for me to make a quick move. I have been grinding my teeth at every noise. But I have stood (or actually sat) firm.

I warned the boys that there would be no treats, no TV and no toys if they chose to cause a ruckus. I am hopeful that after a few days of essentially no fun that the lesson will be learned and quiet times will return. However, with every fiber of my being going through the ringer right now, I don't know if I can make it another day. The boys just came downstairs and got the bad news. I explained that we have rules, and nap time and bed time are quiet times not crazy times. And in this house if you follow the rules, you win. If you break the rules, you lose.

The boys finding out that no fun will be had tonight.
Needless to say the Little Man is not happy. At four, he can mostly wrap his head around the concept that not getting to play with his toys, not getting to have a treat and no TV is a crappy deal. At 2, Taz doesn't get it at all. My hope is that while in their room, the Little Man will show his little brother that it needs to be quiet or otherwise they lose everything that is fun. Since I don't have to plan activities, head to a playground or entertain them in any way, this gives me time to catch up on the ol'blog.

Silver lining, found.



  1. Adam, I always love reading your posts because they make me feel more normal. I can totally relate to your yelling, fatigue and lack of motivation to do things for yourself or the kids. I have days where I know I scream too much and slam doors too often!! I found this website that you might get a kick out of: I didn't last very long in the challenge and so need to start over, but there are some good tips on there. I just pray it gets easier because this is brutal. I told my husband that somedays I just don't think I'm cut out to be a SAHM! Hats off to you for doing a fantastic job :)

    1. Thanks, Carmen. Yeah, there are definitely days and even whole weeks when I wonder if I should just hang up this whole SAHD life and go back to traditional office work. But then I remember even though the lows are 10x worse than any day I ever had at the office, the highs simply can't be matched. There is no sale, no work success that can ever match getting wrapped up in an amazing moment with your kids. That and kindergarten isn't too far away. HA! I just remember what Dory in Finding Nemo said: "...just keep swimming, just keep swimming...".