Everybody I Know Hates Caillou

I never thought I would write about children's programming. I once made some comments on another stay at home Dad's blog about how I thought his review (which I later found was very tongue in cheek) of The Giving Tree was "asinine," that got me into some heated back and forth with the writer and which is why I still contend that I don't make bajillions of dollars through my site and have eighteen homes throughout the world with a few acres bought up on Mars just in case. Though that may be more due to the fact that I can't get more than 8 people to follow me. But back to my point, everybody I know hates Caillou.

If you have to ask "who is Caillou?" Then you either don't have kids or or your kids don't watch TV and have no friends, because Caillou is like a disease. A whiny, self-centered, overly sensitive chatterbox of a disease. Actually Caillou is a cartoon on PBS. But let your kids watch a few episodes and see if you don't notice your children pulling the same stunts that prematurely bald, French Canadian, lanky cartoon kid does on a regular basis. Even if you don't let them watch it, see if your kids start to exhibit some strangely immature behavior after returning home from school or play dates. If they do, hunt down their friend's parents and shake them out like Home Simpson does to Bart.

One of the definitions of the word disease, according to my handy Dictionary.com iPhone app, is "decomposition of a material under special circumstances." In this case, the material being decomposed is my kid's ability to behave like a somewhat normal 2-year old and 4-year old, while the special circumstances is being exposed to the show Caillou or their friends who watch it too.

Now, I know what you are going to say: "Hey, smart guy! Stop letting them watch the show." While that's all fine and well, the funny thing about diseases is that they generally don't have a single access point of infection. I know some kids who watch little to no TV, and when they have come in contact with my kids, they have suddenly begun to show signs of Caillou-phesema. Yep, it's just like second hand smoke, people.

Perhaps it is because it is French Canadian. No, that doesn't make it inherently bad, but what may be good about it in French may be lost in translation. I wouldn't know. I have never seen the Canadian French version, nor is my french better than a preschool pet goldfish. I also have never been to some of the more Frenchy cities of Canada. Perhaps their children are very whiny. I'm not judging. I'm just theorizing.

It's not that Caillou is grossly worse than other children's programming on PBS. You certainly have your standouts, such as: Sesame Street, Martha Speaks and Arthur. Then you have some grey area programming: Curious George (I like this show, I do, but you have to admit that all the babbling George does can't be helpful to kids who are learning to talk), Word World and Super Why (though the fact that everything is such a "big" problem in that show drives me a little crazy; not being able to build a table is not a "big" problem at 3 or 43 or for a talking pig for that matter). And then you have your trash: Cat in The Hat (decent books, but the show, c'mon! That Cat kidnaps the same kids everyday and the parents never blink an eye), Word Girl (sorry, while I like the vocabulary lessons in here, there are too many gun-like weapons...I'm no bleeding heart, but with 2 boys, I don't need help trying to fuel their interest in guns) and then of course, the devil himself, Barney.

While I can take the boy's graham crackers away that they "turn into" guns, I can't take away the fact that they whine when we accidentally bump into them and they fall down. My four year old, The Little Man as he is known here, has gone into full fetal position, "don't touch me" mode for 5-10 minutes before over such things. Then you watch the episode of Caillou, where one of his friends steps on his toe by accident, and he has a hissy fit for the majority of the rest of the episode until he does something to one of his friends on accident and sees what he did wrong. But that doesn't stop his whining for future episodes. No way, this kid's a pro.

Now I understand that kids are going to whine. They are testing boundaries, adjusting to new emotions and sometimes simply having a bad day. However, they certainly don't need cues and/or tips as to when to do it or how to do it more effectively. My 2 year old, known affectionately as Taz or The Monkey, has already picked up on what The Little Man does and has some of the biggest pouts and fits I have ever seen: crossed arms, head dropped, bottom lip way out and he even mumbles his frustrations of which all I can decipher now usually starts with "Dada..."

So it was just the other day, at a stay at home dad meet up, that I heard a fellow SAHD talk about how awful Caillou is and how much he despises the program as well. I have also read on Facebook, other parents that I know, posting about how awful the show is to them. On skin level, the show is fine, certainly appears harmless enough with bright colors and simple story lines. But when you did deeper, it is an absolutely awful, bordering on abysmal, program. I'm not sure why parents have not revolted against it, maybe we should?

Perhaps, the Canadians are trying to turn us into a bunch of whiners via our children's programming (which would be brilliant), though I know there are countries out there that already feel that way about us. Or maybe I, and a few other people I have spoken with, are blowing this all out of proportion. Maybe you have read some of my other posts, do I sound like the type of guy to blow things out of proportion? Don't answer that.



photo/image credit: http://www.caillou.cc/caillou-images/caillou-logo/caillou-logo.html

Someone Should Make a Reality TV Show About SAHDs...Oh...Wait...What? They Already Did?

*picture credit: http://www.aetv.com/modern-dads/about/

From the same people who brought you Intervention, Duck Dynasty and Storage Wars, A&E premiered it's first of it's kind, stay at home dads reality show last night called Modern Dads.  The show follows four dads in Austin, Texas: Nathan the 37-year old new dad of 1 year old Cormac, Rick the vet with a 10, 7 and two 1 year olds, Sean the stepdad to two girls Arwen, 8 and Joopsy, 5 and Stone the single dad to 5 year old Danica. Here is A&Es write up of the show, but the shortened version is it's a bunch of guys, not unlike the guys I spend a good bit of time with, who are the primary care givers and just raising their kids as best they can.

I have to be honest, I wanted to hate this show. I wanted to watch one episode and blow it off as complete horseshit. I was convinced it was going to be a completely inaccurate portrayal of what it is we do as stay at homes dads. That it was going to either be a little tight around the neck or completely falling off the waist with regards to the "reality" of being a man and being a primary care giver.

Over the past two years, the dad groups I have been a part of have been contacted by reality TV show casting executives and I have done nothing but duck, dodge and avoid all correspondence. But I am a little jaded. I have a good friend who is involved in reality TV. After the shows she's worked on seasons had ended, I always looked forward to sitting down over a couple of drinks and talking about how it all came together, how the cast is behind the scenes, how the producers create content and just about anything else you could think about or want to know about reality TV show as a business. What she had to say was always entertaining, but it was like slap stick comedy; it's always funnier when it's somebody else getting hit in the face with humble pie. So when some of the other dads and networks I am part of asked what I thought about a reality TV show for dads and potentially being a part of it, I told them to knock themselves out, but that I wanted no part of it. My days are tough enough without adding cameras and a national audience to the mix.

It's not that I take this gig too seriously, it's quite the opposite. I get a kick out of the dads that are instantly bruised anytime the media portrays them as bumbling or incapable of performing the tasks of a care giver. If you are confident in your parenting skills, as a mom or a dad, then who cares what the outside world thinks (okay...maybe I do a little bit). I'm admittedly a bumbler from time to time. Not to mention that this whole SAHD concept is new to society. There are people who don't get it, who don't believe it, who think we're completely crazy for wanting to do what we do and others who are unaware of us altogether. I run into these people on a daily basis. I don't want these people getting to tune into my routine and I don't need their judgement. I already have an internal battle on what I screw up on a daily basis, no magnifying glass needed here thank you very much.

However, there is a difference between going on morning shows to talk about the SAHD life and then being cast in a reality TV show. Look at Jon and Kate Plus 8, now nobody wants twins (or an Ed Hardy t-shirt for that matter). Like every pre-pubescent teenager, I wanted to be different and misunderstood. I'm stupid like that. Nice to meet you.

But the show is great. It's really, really great!

From the first minute into the show, there are some great bits. Stone's daughter is in the bathroom and she yells out that she needs to be wiped. He tells her that she wipes herself at her mom's house, to which she says that she still wants him to wipe her. He does. Nathan has a crazy fear of stopping his car when his son is sleeping, because he believes Cormac will wake up. So when he picks up Sean, he has to swing the car door open for Sean to jump into the moving car (spoiler alert: Cormac wakes up anyway). Rick is tasked with planning his 1-year old twin daughter's birthday party, which you can see his wife does not think he is capable of handling. Yet he pulls off a great renaissance party with the help of the other dads.

I was disappointed when the episode was over, thinking it should have been an hour long and not a measly half-hour. I now want to move to Austin and hang out with these guys. I don't want to be on the show, don't misunderstand me, I just want to throw back a few beers and have a few laughs. One thing that people ask me is, what is this whole stay at home life like? And I always have these sarcastic, curve ball and sometimes drab responses (depending on the day you ask me and the mood that I am in). But this show sort of nails it. These are the interactions that I have with my kids, with my friends and with my wife. Planning birthday parties and serving dinner is all fine and well, but that's only half of the job. The skeptic in me is looking forward to seeing how they handle the hard stuff like disciplining, bad moods, unexpected schedules and how marriages work after kids. For now though, kudos to A&E. Granted this is only the first episode, but I'm hooked and the series recording on the DVR is set.

Simply put, if you are a stay at home (mom or dad), you'll appreciate this. If you are the working parent, you'll find this entertaining. And if you are neither, you can learn a little something.

Modern Dads is on the A&E network every Wednesday at 10:30pm/9:30 central. Check it out!

Breaking Bad: Nap Time Edition

Yikes! It's been near two months since my last post? To tell the truth, I have become a little consumed with Instagram and editing each picture. I've also spent a ton of time working on my photography site (www.craftedfocus.com), as well as second shooting my first wedding. Now that I write it out, it doesn't sound like a lot. But I assure you it felt like a million things at once.

I felt that life was getting too crazy. I had stopped running. I was getting more and more grouchy. I was less inclined to go out and do things with the kids. I was looking forward to the Mrs being home more and more, but since she was working 100 hour weeks (nope, not kidding...think long and hard before becoming a lawyer kiddos) we never saw her.

So two weeks ago, I decided to kick myself in the ass and get up, get out and do something. I started running again. We got back out for play dates. I was cooking healthy meals again. But I was still feeling tied up. That's when I realized that maybe I was trying to control too many aspects of the boys lives. Too much of "don't do that", "don't touch that", "don't climb up there", "stop fussing", "stop jumping off the ottoman", "don't throw your toys", "no splashing", "go to sleep"...my blood pressure is rising just writing it out! Instead of walking quietly and carrying a big stick, I was stomping around and screaming through a bullhorn. So I decided to stop.

The first situation I have chosen to tackle is nap time.

Nap time (and bed time for that matter), while albeit I cherish, has been a thorn in my side. Our routine has been to go to the bathroom, change diaper, read 2 books and off to dream land. The first three went off without a hitch. The last one? Not so much. Taz would be screaming, Little Man would be banging, books would be thrown, beds would be destroyed and occasional crying would ensue. I would tromp up there 3-5 times every afternoon for nap and every night for bedtime, aggressively open the door, demand silence, then slam the door and return to folding clothes, finishing my dinner or just trying to relax. Eventually they would stop and sleep, but not before I was worn out and feeling completely frazzled.

So yesterday, I decided that I would no longer scream. I would no longer creep up the stairs like a ninja so as to surprise them and put the fear of Dad in them. I would no longer react.

It's 4:27 PM now and the boys have been upstairs for 3 hours. Nap time ends in 3 minutes. All three hours have been filled with screams, cries, crashes and thuds on repeat. I have said nothing. I have done nothing besides fold laundry, make a few phone calls and watch Judge Judy drop the hammer on some unsuspecting derelicts. I have nearly reacted. I have fought the urge to react. My calves and quads have twitched, like spurs in a horses side, just prepping for me to make a quick move. I have been grinding my teeth at every noise. But I have stood (or actually sat) firm.

I warned the boys that there would be no treats, no TV and no toys if they chose to cause a ruckus. I am hopeful that after a few days of essentially no fun that the lesson will be learned and quiet times will return. However, with every fiber of my being going through the ringer right now, I don't know if I can make it another day. The boys just came downstairs and got the bad news. I explained that we have rules, and nap time and bed time are quiet times not crazy times. And in this house if you follow the rules, you win. If you break the rules, you lose.

The boys finding out that no fun will be had tonight.

Needless to say the Little Man is not happy. At four, he can mostly wrap his head around the concept that not getting to play with his toys, not getting to have a treat and no TV is a crappy deal. At 2, Taz doesn't get it at all. My hope is that while in their room, the Little Man will show his little brother that it needs to be quiet or otherwise they lose everything that is fun. Since I don't have to plan activities, head to a playground or entertain them in any way, this gives me time to catch up on the ol'blog.

Silver lining, found.