Showing posts with label poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poetry. Show all posts

Thursday, April 4, 2013

A Charlestongram





Charleston
by Henry Timrod (1828-1867)


Calm as that second summer which precedes
       The first fall of the snow,
In the broad sunlight of heroic deeds,
       The City bides the foe.
 
As yet, behind their ramparts stern and proud,
       Her bolted thunders sleep—
Dark Sumter, like a battlemented cloud,
       Looms o’er the solemn deep.
 
No Calpe frowns from lofty cliff or scar
       To guard the holy strand;
But Moultrie holds in leash her dogs of war
       Above the level sand.
 
And down the dunes a thousand guns lie couched,
       Unseen, beside the flood—
Like tigers in some Orient jungle crouched
        That wait and watch for blood.
 
Meanwhile, through streets still echoing with trade,
       Walk grave and thoughtful men,
Whose hands may one day wield the patriot’s blade
       As lightly as the pen.
 
And maidens, with such eyes as would grow dim
       Over a bleeding hound,
Seem each one to have caught the strength of him
       Whose sword she sadly bound.
 
Thus girt without and garrisoned at home,
       Day patient following day,
Old Charleston looks from roof, and spire, and dome,
       Across her tranquil bay.
 
Ships, through a hundred foes, from Saxon lands
       And spicy Indian ports,
Bring Saxon steel and iron to her hands,
       And summer to her courts.
 
But still, along you dim Atlantic line,
       The only hostile smoke
Creeps like a harmless mist above the brine,
       From some frail, floating oak.
 
Shall the spring dawn, and she still clad in smiles,
       And with an unscathed brow,
Rest in the strong arms of her palm-crowned isles,
       As fair and free as now?
 
We know not; in the temple of the Fates
       God has inscribed her doom;
And, all untroubled in her faith, she waits
       The triumph or the tomb.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Please Just Eat Your F*cking Food

Yes, I am using a similar and often the same meter as Adam Mansbach's original ode to his kids of "Just Go The F*ck To Sleep".  I am well aware of this, that shit was genius.  There is no intent on my behalf to make any money from this gem, simply to entertain you all, so I think I should be okay to move forward with it.

And no, I doubt Samuel L. Jackson will be reading this anytime soon, but if Morgan Freeman is available and you know him, then let him know.

Without further ado, for your reading pleasure, here is:

Please Just Eat Your Fucking Food

I hear your tiny tummy rumbling now,
I asked what do you want, you said "you choose".
Then taco Tuesday it is tonight, my prince.
Now, please just eat your fucking food.

Look at your brother, he's a goddamn disposal.
You used to eat well, what happened to you?
No chocopuffs or yogurt pops, buddy.
Just eat your fucking food.

You're not watching TV, you're not having ice cream.
Ground beef plus tortillas equals tacos, dude.
Yes, you can have that banana as soon as you clean your plate.
But for now, eat your fucking food.

You have to take a piss?  Fine, go ahead.
Your tacos are cold, but what's that to you?
Don't forget to wash your hands,
and get back and eat your fucking food.

I appreciate your robot impression
and I love all your hugs, really I do.
I'm getting hemorrhoids just sitting here,
Hey C3PO, Johnny 5 says eat your fucking food.

Yes, I see the grasshopper on the window.
Yes, tomorrow you are going to school.
No, I'm not a teacher but here is a spelling lesson,
eat your f-u-c-k-i-n-g food.

It's 7:45 and I served you at 7
Your brother and I are bored so just chew!
No I don't want to try your taco, know why?
'Cause I ate all of my fucking food.

Angry?  What makes you think I am angry?
Oh...because Dadda is coming unglued?
Well, yes, I'm sort of miffed after an hour
and I see half a fucking plate of your food.

Your brother is screaming and you still need a bath.
Here, I'll show you what you have to do.
Just eat all of your vegetables, this taco meat
and then you'll o-fucking-fficially have eaten your food.

Bath time is over, time to get ready for bed now.
What?!?  Your hungry?  Va fungoul!
Tough titties, life sucks, so sad, too bad
Guess who should have eaten their fucking food.

You and your brother are in bed now, finally,
I can sit down and crack a brew.
Then I hear you yell:  "Dadda, I pooped in my diaper, come change me."
How is that possible without eating your fucking food?